Learning to Fly
by Starseeded
Summary: What happens to a Seeker when their ability to fly is taken away? Follow Starscream as he faces his hardest challenge and his worst enemy... himself.
1. Can't Keep My Eyes from the Circling Sky

A/N & Disclaimer: _I don't own Transformers nor am I affiliated with it in any way, nor any thing else in here. _

_Many of you might remember this from before. Well, I tell you what, I got mad one day and I took it down. Oh, I was mad at the world, and LTF incurred my wrath. I am TRULY sorry, since it disappeared off of everyone's fav list or watch list (not to mention the reviews *sob*). Please don't be mad! *hides*_

_*Comes out of hiding* So, since it was taken down, I did some stuff to it._

_If this story seems sad, it's because its supposed to be. I was listening to the song **Learning to Fly** by _Pink Floyd.

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Starscream thought he was clear of all dangers as he took off for Cybertron to tell them the news of Megatron's fall and the loss of the Allspark. He had nothing but space between him and his home planet. One in his stature should know that there are forces at work that are not to be underestimated but his pride stood in the way of his intelligence, something that happened often.

Unbeknownst to him, Earth had a Planetary Defense System – something he should have considered but hadn't since it hadn't shot at him on the way in. He had figured if the organics weren't advanced enough to protect their own planet, it was worth taking. However, much to his surprise, a satellite had picked his unknown signature, saw him as a threat, and it targeted a weapon at him.

He would pay for his arrogance and underestimating the 'inferior insects' as he referred to them as, that inhabited the planet.

He hadn't expected it, let alone knew about Earth's ugly little secret. Even most of the people of Earth themselves didn't know. Others said the cannons did not exist, a few swore that they did and that upper government factions were hiding them. The controversy went on. Starscream found out the hard way that they did in fact exist. They were capable of shooting just about anything they thought were threatening from Earth's orbit.

Too excited about getting to Cybertron and his thrusters on full, he hadn't even noticed when the streaming ball of orange headed right for him. When it registered on his HUD that he'd been fired upon, it was too late. He banked hard, but not fast or hard enough to avoid it completely. It hit his right wing, blowing the end off and ripped him up. The force of the blasé sent his now badly damaged and sparking body hurdling through zero gravity. He screamed from the pain as his systems tried to correct him and told him of errors he was paying little attention to at the time being he was in too much pain to care. He was only a couple of thousand miles from the planet when he was hit, so he was not far enough from the Earth's powerful gravity that was now pulling him back.

It took him a few seconds after the shock to realize that he had been hitharder than he thought. His repair systems, after the jolt, alerted him to a plasma wound, and an almost completely missing wing along with other parts. He was spinning with no control, his body flipping and rolling from the sheer force of the blast. He felt himself falling back to the planet and internally he cursed. He knew this feeling. He had been forced to painfully transform and his thrusters began sputtering and zapping as his Navigation systems went erratic. He started plummeting towards Earth at a frighteningly increasing velocity with absolutely no control.

_Ice is forming on the tips of my wings...  
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything..._

From burning heat to freezing cold, his body went from one extreme to another as it fell back to the planet. His processors came up with only one solution after working the problem as he was pulled back into the planet again – Hope to Primus you don't survive the really nasty fall that was coming.

The silver mech went into Stasis Lock as he fell, his processors and body unable to cope with what was happening. He could always defy gravity with flight, but not this time, now it had become his worst enemy.

_No navigator to guide my way home...  
Unladed, empty and turned to stone..._

The large red-hot ball of metal slammed into the ground with such force that dirt and rock was thrown many feet into the air, hitting trees and covering any other foliage that was in its way on the ground. Perhaps the mech was lucky that he wasn't aware when his body hit the ground and slid to a stop in the middle of absolutely nowhere. When his body finally stopped sliding, a clear trail of dirt and metal from his broken body remained in his wake. Fortunately, he remained hidden by the density of the forest that he had landed in.

Energon oozed and wires sparked from numerous places. The damage made him nearly unrecognizable. The parts of him that were recognizable had been covered in leaves and branches, or masked by burnt metal and scorching. Other parts that had been ripped from him lay scattered from the crash. Trees, grass and upturned dirt and clay covered the rest of him.

When the mech finally came back online, he could hardly see, only outlines and shadows making up his vision. He tried to focus his optics to the obvious bright daylight that assaulted them. His chronological systems came online and tried to right themselves as well. It took a moment of calibration before they finally fixed in his senses. He was stunned a moment to find them saying two Earth years had passed since his last online. That long? He'd been in stasis lock for two years?

What of what he last knew? Surely more Decepticons had arrived by now. If other Decepticons were around, they would have come for him, he was sure of it, but they hadn't. Why hadn't they come? Why had he even been spared? When he tried his communications, he found he had no outer contact, those systems were offline – and would be for some time it seemed, as his repair system hadn't even attempted to check as it had the rest of his body.

As he continued to survey his surroundings, he found himself in the middle of what his flickering HUD registered to be a dense forest. His optics continued to improve, giving him foggy but correct vision. When he got a good glimpse of his own wreck, he stared in wonder. His left leg appeared to have new covering, showing healing and his other was still mangled almost beyond recognition, so he knew for certain he could not walk. How had he actually survived? How was he still functioning in this gruesome condition? His right arm was connected by life support alone while the other was under him, pinned. Slowly he tried to move his head, dirt ground in his servos as he did.

He continued to look around, assessing the rest of his condition. The first thing he noticed was he was very much alone, apparently having never been found, so that was good, although how, eluded him as he was still in the crater and split earth that he had landed. As he continued to evaluate his grim situation, he realized one thing was for certain, he had never been so destroyed in his life. Even Megatron hadn't devastated him as badly as he was now.

Grass and various knocked over trees were around him but did not do much to cover him leaving much of his upper body exposed, so he was susceptible to any curious onlooker with a good eye.

His optics still flickered out of focus. His repair system finally got around to telling him the really bad news. One he, since he had been onlined, never ever thought was possible – His flight system had been damaged heavily, even one thruster was completely gone. As he checked for solutions to the problem, his HUD reported back that he was damaged beyond even the best repair.

It took him a few seconds to comprehend fully what his repair systems were actually telling him. The Seeker scoffed at his systems. That couldn't be right. Surely, they were erroneous and had to be malfunctioning. While Starscream took the bad news of the rest of his body easily, his flight system errors made him panic. In his panic, he tried rerouting all power to repairing only his flight systems, but his own repair systems refused his command, seeing that not as much of a threat as his Spark chamber and surrounding damage.

His repair system had also reported its Energon leakage and how much he was producing was keeping his repair systems only partly working, which meant they would take even longer that normal to repair him, since he couldn't get any fuel of any sort.

After several calculations and recalculations, he was alarmed to find he would be lying here for at least another three more Earth years before he could even attempt to move the rest of his body. This was officially far worse than anything Megatron had ever subjected him to, worse than his own demise and humiliation – and he was completely alone.

Starscream, for the first time in his life, just wanted to cease to exist. There was no point. He was bound to be found he was sure, and he knew that the Autobots would be merciless on him once they did, and if any humans found him, he would probably be a subject much like Megatron, which was worse than death. But most of all, he didn't want to face never being able to fly again. There was no equivalent to taking a seeker's wings. Having them ripped off was sacrilege in itself, but to completely take their flying ability?

There was no seeker that he'd ever known to not have their ability of flight, and it was their love of flying that they could even perform the task, their regular bodies had gone under extreme changes, more power to their thrusters, until finally, a true seeker was born. There weren't many of them, because they were an uncommon race.

Starscream stared at the sky for hours as he lie unmoving. He dimmed his optics and sighed as he thought about it.

How long until he was found? How long until he was exposed? How long before he'd eventually go crazy from his loss of flight?

He thought he was stronger than insanity, which was sure to come if he couldn't repair himself. Insanity had been following that idiot Megatron to this obviously-not-so-simple planet in the first place, and then it proved even more stupid when that little fleshling killed Megatron, and destroyed the reason of their war. He had no reason, no meaning, and even if he wanted to take control of the Decepticons, wherever they were, he wasn't doing it right now.

He checked his repair systems again and it was as if it was a completely different sentience, only reporting itself and its fixes/problems to him when his core processor deemed it necessary. Never once had it told him that he was going to die, or that his survival was in the least bit threatened, which in a way disappointed him.

Starscream now understood what it meant to crash and burn. He had heard the phrase, or similar to it back on Cybertron, and it usually referred to seekers that for some reason gave up their will to live or became such a danger to themselves and society that they were terminated. Was this his crash and burn? He started a shut down stasis lock that he set to wake him when he was fully repaired. Well, fully as he could be and the system went to work, shutting him down slowly until his optics finally offlined.

There was no actual proof or sighting or anything of the like about some silly plasma cannon that the governments had secretly installed, or that it was the reason that the Decepticons never made it to Earth. The Autobots wouldn't have known either, however they were curious when they were told that there was 'incoming Cybertronians' and was asked if they were the good guys or not, and when they had told the humans that they were Decepticons, the proto-forms never made it to Earth.

The Earthbound misfit that lied in the middle of the forest would never be found by anyone. As if Primus himself had commanded, Starscream's body had been completely covered by plants and foliage hiding him from prying eyes, making him look like a normal part of the scenery when someone happened to fly overhead, which wasn't often, anyway.

* * *

_Hopefully it will turn out better!_


	2. A Fatal Attraction

**A/N**:_'If the foo shits wear it' - isn't that supposed to be 'if the shoe fits, wear it?' I like the first one better :P  
_

_Lyrics belong to respected owners._

_

* * *

Can't keep my eyes from the circling sky…_

**Stasis Lock Recovery Sequences Initiated.**

**Complete, Systems Online _|**

To start off, he woke annoyed. Starscream's core programming pulled him from his stasis lock, and he realized he was still alive when he started to gain somewhat an idea that he wasn't either in the Pit or in recharge but he sure hurt like hell. As his optics onlined, he was greeted to a full, dark night. The stars over his head twinkled as he focused in his ocular systems, adjusting for night and low vision until he was peering at perfect little white dots all over the sky.

From his point, he could see a large portion of the sky that leaves weren't in the way. He stared at them, watching them. He'd never looked at them quite like this before. The stars at Cybertron were so much more easily seen, as there wasn't much of an atmosphere to drown them. His awe was cut off when his repair systems reported to him.

**Energon line Repair – Complete.**

**Processor Repair – Complete.**

**Outer Armor Repair – Complete.**

**Spark Power – 100 Percent Functional, Stable.**

**Spark Chamber Repair – Complete. **

**Communications Systems – Online.**

**Navigations Systems – Offline, 20 Percent Functional, Unstable.**

So he was fixed. At least up to his navigations, this wasn't too much of a worry right now since he figured his repair systems was still working. The Decepticon still wasn't any more pleased than the day he went into stasis lock for recovery. What didn't bode too well was, first of all, was that he was _still _on this Pit-spawned planet.

Wait, how long had it been? He checked his chronometer and found it had been 4 cycles since his last online. 4 Cycles? Why had it taken an extra cycle to complete repairing him? He went to move his arm, checking how much mobility he had, and found it functioning fine, but it was painful, as if his body had kinks in places he didn't even know existed. The mech grunted out loud when he moved his leg. He glared down at his foot, moving the talons painfully as well. So, this is how it was going to be, was it?

The more he started to move and gain mobility, he hit up his communications, going straight for Decepticon lines, but he found he got no response. Well, what? What happened to the Decepticons? Surely they'd had made it here by now, for Pit's sake, it had been 4 cycles! There was nothing but emptiness. His spark twanged when he thought of the possibility of being the only Decepticon left on Earth, the rest may have been eradicated by Prime and his follies, since they would have no leader and if one tried to take over, the rest would fight. The way he figured it, was that they would fight more amongst themselves than anything, their bickering making them easy targets.

An annoyed expression took his faceplate and he went to move again. He moved more, this time he found he was pulling free from bushes and plants, given they had found a home in his body and had started to grow. What was up with this twisted planet? Even the plants were sentient? And why above all, were they growing in his structure like he was nothing? He balled his hand into a fist and yanked his arm hard from the vine that had twisted around it and Primus it hurt, but the plant completely fell off his ar. He flexed his claws, gyros and hydraulics cleaning the greenery from his arm in one move.

He moved his legs again, kicking with more force to get out any plants that had grown there as well. A few seconds later, he slowly started to make his way to his feet. Such a bulky body made this a little difficult given all the plants that were still all over him, but he made it to a kneeling position, his legs hurt and shook from just the weight on them, forcing him to drop to a kneeling position and grabbing an unfortunate tree to stop him from falling. Immediately he went to turn on his thrusters and charged his legs for a leap to take off and, no sooner had he gotten the strength to take off, a warning came over his HUD.

**Flight Control System Malfunctioning – Not Responding.**

**Flight Control Pattern – Offline.**

**Irreparable Damage to Core Flight Processor – Malfunctioning, Unable to Repair.**

Starscream stopped dead in his movement to stare and he felt dread mixed with such confusion and disbelief. His alarm was of what part of his navigations weren't working.

No, impossible! Seekers can _always_ fly; it's what they were created for! He forced a recheck only to receive the same blinking glyphs. What? Flying _is_ their core processing and their mind! What was going on?

Starscream for the first time couldn't believe what he was seeing and his stance changed, and he went to his knees. He wasn't sure what it was that washed over him, but it was painful, literally. He had never felt so much despair in his life. It was as if someone had ripped him apart piece by piece, starting with his Spark.

What was it he had done so bad to receive this as a reward? Megatron was a cruel tyrant, far worse than Starscream had ever been, so why had he been cursed this badly by Primus? He knew no other form of Pit than he was feeling now, how could it possibly get any _worse_?

The urge to fly started to frustrate him and became painful. He remained kneeling, trying to think of a way to fix his problem. The longer the wind rushed over his form or a tree brushed his wing just right, his vents would hitch from the awesome urge. It got to the point every feeling in his body was painful. Angry at the pain and inability to concentrate, and confused beyond belief, the urge began driving him mad rather quickly.

Right then and there, he wanted to tear out his spark and watch it extinguish in his hand. Freeing himself from the powerful and maddening urge. The want – no – the _need_ to fly.

The Seeker scoffed at himself. What a thought… he had never thought about mutilating himself in such a manner. But, the thought remained… and it dug at him. The more he thought about it, the more he found that it was a rather easy feat to accomplish, or so it seemed. His system had other ideas. When it felt he was serious in his musings and was actually going to try the stupid idea, it suddenly jolted his HUD and he froze.

**Automatic System Override – Shutdown Imminent – Processor Unstable!**

And with that message, flat on his face he went. Instantly his repair system checked his core programming and processor, searching for a virus or something that it could repair to make sure it wasn't malfunctioning and wouldn't try that again.

There was one small problem. You can't repair what isn't malfunctioning. His own processor core could barely handle such a confusion, if it did at all.

Finding nothing wrong, Starscream was awoken again to find dirt in his faceplates and he growled, pushing himself up. What had just happened? He went back into a kneeling position before looking around, a lot more annoyed than he had first been – which probably had to do with the dirt now grinding in his mouth. Obviously his processor had some kind of self defense system he wasn't aware of, so it was no surprise that it actually failed and rebooted.

_A fatal attraction holding me fast…_

That feeling rushed him again. Like rapture, yet he couldn't explain it, although all Seekers knew it. The rush was overwhelming to him. Immediately he wanted to fulfill it – to burst into the air and be who he was. The urge he needed to be free from, but it flooded him again – the dread creeping to uncontrollable levels. He wasn't sure why he couldn't just shut it off… there it remained threateningly as he forced it to the back of his mind. If he could keep it back there, he'd be able to function enough to find a cure for it. He wouldn't believe for one second that it was irreparable.

_How can I escape this irresistible grasp?_ …

The 30 or so foot tall Seeker stood, shaking his head as his upper shoulders emerged at the treetops, his delicate wings were felt through the trees and he shuddered a moment before looking out over a very big forest. His HUD blinked at him.

**Navigations Systems – Online, 20 Percent Functional, Unstable!**

There was a secondary part of his HUD, one that told him everything the rest of his body could not, which started up and screened on, telling him of what his wings were sending to him about temperature, wind, and velocity. This also was painful, though bearable, seeing as it had crept down to a dull throb that could be mostly ignored.

There was a reason that Seekers were in so much pain when a wing was taken or blown off, it was one of, if not, the most sensitive parts of their bodies. It was like their vision beyond their optics that they could never explain, yet all Seekers knew of it. One could akin them to a feline's whiskers.

_A flight of fancy on a windswept field…_

The Seeker growled in frustration when a strong wind blew over him. Again that dangerous feeling threatened to take him over. It became like a small prick in the back of his mind every time he tried to not think of it. The more he tried to ignore it, the worse got, driving him to his knees again, weakened by the processing it took to try to eradicate the feeling from his systems. Was there no end to this? It just _would not go_. For a moment, he wondered why. He'd never had the urge to fly so strong before. He reached to his head and put his fists against the sides in exasperation, knowing nothing else to do until the urge started to subside slightly.

_Standing alone my senses reeled…_

Making his way to his feet again, he looked up at the stars once more. He watched them as they sparkled and twinkled – they were never_ so_ beautiful before. It must have been the planet's oxygen rich atmosphere. He'd always had an affinity to stars, part of that being he was designated by them. He often wondered where the 'scream' came from.

Interrupting his thought, that awful rush came to him again, it exploded into a pain when the wind sharply blew over his wings and he could not respond by only what came naturally. He screamed, scaring wildlife as his voice echoed over the lush canopies.

He couldn't keep going like this. How he longed to fly, to feel the wind over his body, to feel the gentle temperature cool him as he flew harder, faster, but the thought was whisked away when he sensed something coming from the south. Starscream spun around, his bright red optics piercing the silhouette of the forest and him. It was a plane headed right in his direction. _Slag_.

Starscream suddenly went down; hissing in pain, the mech ducked under the cover of trees. The trees weren't so kind to him as he brushed over them in his hurry to get hidden, in fact, he felt every scrape they had to offer, but he was hidden, no matter how much the branches protested to him being there. Crawling under the canopy that had sheltered him for 5 cycles before, he curled up until the plane was well out of his vision and scanners. When the plane was gone he moved back out to the open and started to walk, pushing branches and such that might touch his wings as me moved.

As he meandered out, he frowned in realization that he had never been forced to walk like this. He'd never been grounded before ever in his existence, for he had been able to fly since he was sparked, which was quite remarkable the first time. It was something he never forgot, and that very same thing that made him love the open of the vastness. It was freedom.

Even while under Megatron's command, he had been beaten, abused, tortured, but never did the tyrant take his wings. He was still free as long as he could fly, but now he wasn't sure what he was. He'd long since decided he couldn't keep going like this. He would go insane and he knew it.

All of the stories he'd heard were true. He would crash and burn if he couldn't fix his processors. The Seeker couldn't let that happen to himself, pride overwhelmed him a moment. He needed to rectify his problem, and _fast_.

_Condition grounded but determined to try…_

He stepped quickly, heading north, with what functional navigations he had to map the area, finding he was closer to a clearing and headed that way. However, where there's a clearing, there is surely to be people, but where there are people, there are vehicles. Perhaps he could find one to mimic that would be able to accommodate his size. It wasn't like he wanted to actually see the insects, but because he couldn't remain in his true form, he was forced to go into their territory and chance it.

He was sure the Autobots were still here, and with a small bit of hope, Decepticons. He already figured an F-22 Raptor rolling down a road was just… wrong, so he decided to look for something large, like a semi. He didn't like the idea at all. He wasn't designed to be grounded like this. Primus must really, _really_ hate him. For the first time in his existence, he sulked, begging the powers that be for his flight back as he hunted for a new form.

His pride was compensating for the constant feeling that threatened to make him offline himself again for the time being. He thought about it while he hunted the new form he would use. He was the Decepticon Air Commander. The fastest known Seeker alive. He was the most powerful and the leader of all other Seekers. He was second in Command to the Decepticons. There was a reason others of both factions admired and respected him, and it was because he was so powerful and unique. To a point, that is. He belonged to the vastness of the planet's skies until now.

…Now, he wasn't sure of a purpose.

* * *

_Poor Starscream..._


	3. Condition Grounded

A/N: _It's a little longer than before, so enjoy the additions._

* * *

_Into the distance, a ribbon of black…_  
_Stretched to the point of no turning back…_

Starscream had been wandering for quite a while now in the darkness of night and had yet to have found something that could not only accommodate for his size, but that wouldn't degrade him more than he already was. Still having not found a suitable alt form, he was in the bare open. The creatures here must have been stupid that they wouldn't notice something of his size walking in the night. Either way, they'd most likely see his footprints, if any, come morning. It must have been a fleshling recharge cycle time because not many of them were around, and if they were, he could duck and hide. He probably would have shot any that saw him, but he didn't want the attention or the trouble.

He continued on his way, looking for something – _anything_ – that would accommodate him. So far, he'd found nothing suitable. There was this one semi, but it was a putrid green and ugly as sin.

What he didn't expect was for an Autobot to be parked at a gas station not far from him. Starscream stilled upon picking him up on his scanners, and knew damned well that if he had picked _him_ up, then he, himself had been detected. He sighed as he considered what the repercussion would be. Why couldn't he just be left _alone_.

'_Slagging Autobots… __Just what I need__.'_ He thought himself as he waited to see if the Autobot would bother him. If he was lucky, he could slip by, but obviously, luck was and probably wouldn't be on his side.

Just as he figured, the Autobot announced to him that he knew he was there when Starscream walked near the station and it flashed its headlights at him. He didn't recognize the car or the signature from the previous battle that he last knew, so he knew that this was a new one.

The Autobot knew exactly who he was. The engine started on the car and he stopped to look for a split second before he used his legs for another reason he'd been born with them, to book ass. Now he didn't care who or what saw him, he only wanted to escape.

The Autobot watched in wonder as the Seeker took a fleeting exit. Why was Starscream _running_? Why wasn't the Seeker _flying_? The Autobot followed him, keeping pace that he wasn't too close, nor too far away. This was most interesting, because not only was Starscream running, but he was running away and avoiding him. He'd never seen the Seeker run away for as long as he'd come across him, Starscream only flew, so of course his interest was piqued.

Starscream knew he was being followed and his legs moved faster to get away. By the time he had reached full speed, which was about 90 mph, he was running with leaps, covering more ground with each leap than with a normal running step. How he wished his thrusters could move him faster and take him to the sky as he tried to get away from his pursuer. The Decepticon didn't want to fight; he wanted to be left alone.

As running would have it, however, that overwhelming feeling burst its way into his processors again. He fumbled and nearly tripped, catching himself with a hand when it caught in his Spark and pained him. Why was he hurting like this just because he couldn't fly? The wind over his wings had become his worst enemy, because it engaged his need to fly and he dug both feet to the ground, letting his speed and talons slow him. His body turned and went down and his claws dragged as the Seeker rebalanced himself. He finally made it to a stop and turned to see his pursuer. The pursuer slowed down when Starscream slid, stopping a little ways from the Decepticon. He watched him curiously, knowing he had firepower, but also knew he was no match for him. Deciding to play it safe, the Autobot remained at a safe distance and radioed for help.

The Autobot watched in morbid curiosity when Starscream twitched strangely. He watched him reach for his helm and Starscream gave out his namesake, he screamed as he went to his knees. The sound of his agony busted car windows, house windows and scared the hell out of everyone within earshot as he gave into the overwhelming urge. Again, the panicking Seeker wanted nothing better than to rip his Spark right out of his chest just to get rid of the excruciating pain he was in. His legs buckled under him and the last thing he knew was what his HUD displayed as he reached for his chest with his claws intent to rip it wide open. Self Preservation opted to interrupt his scheme.

**Automatic System Override – System Shutdown Imminent – Processor Unstable!**

Starscream went face first into the concrete; his body sparking and scraping across the ground as he went down. The Seeker's repair systems immediately went to work looking for a cause in malfunction in him, trying to find the reason why it just wanted to kill itself_ again_. After an extensive quick scan, it found Starscream was not malfunctioning and woke the Seeker reporting that apparently nothing was wrong.

Starscream's optics came online to find the very Autobot that had been chasing him, hovering over him, looking down on him. Quickly the Decepticon moved to a kneeling position to find there was more than one Autobot around, but he couldn't clearly see who. He was still trying to push that feeling away so he could concentrate.

"Don't make any sudden moves, Decepticreep, you're surrounded." The Autobot spoke to him coldly, his look of interest turning to a glare of hatred. Starscream didn't reply. He only stared at the Autobot before deciding this might be a good idea after all. It never crossed his processors that Optimus had his medic with him on Earth, and a medic could repair his processor.

He wasn't about to open fire on the Autobots he scanned, they would overpower him and destroy him and while he wasn't under those urges, he wasn't ready to die just yet. Starscream just dipped his head. It was like waving a little white flag. He would surrender if it meant getting fixed. This was something that he never in his lifetime would have done, but he was as desperate as a drone searching a new host.

"Starscream!" A voice called. He knew it immediately. It was Optimus Prime. Why was he here? He gave the Autobot leader a glance then looked back down. No one in their existence had seen him give up so easily like this. Optimus knew then that something was terribly wrong with him.

"Starscream, we thought you left for Cybertron cycles ago," it was Ironhide. Of all the pit-spawned Autobots to come, it had to be the trigger-happy mech. Speaking of trigger-happy… he knew he heard the weapons on his arms arming.

If he could fly, he could get away. If he could fly, he wouldn't have to deal with these stupid Autobots. He only wanted to be left alone. His gaze went across the Autobots again, and he finally spoke, cramming the urge deep in his systems, "Leave me alone, Autobots."

"Sorry, Screamer, but you're coming with us," It was Ironhide again.

"Transform and fly to the coordinates I give you," Ironhide told him, "you will also have an escort." Just then, two jets seared overhead as if to lead him. Jealousy spiked in the Decepticon as he watched and his optics furrowed darkly. Jealousy turned to anger, and then it turned into physical pain.

Starscream would go to their base. Ratchet was at their base and that was all he could think about. He didn't transform, however, he chose to continue walking. Ironhide was about to fire at him for not listening. Surprisingly, Optimus Prime was the one who came to his aid and put a hand up, halting the black mech, "Don't," He lightly pushed down on Ironhide's weapon, and Ironhide lowered it while glaring at Starscream, "he's not looking for a fight. Let him come peacefully."

"You heard Optimus, transform and fly!" Came another voice – one he didn't recognize. None of them knew that they were only provoking him. The words grated the Seeker, and he suddenly stopped and stiffened, his optics became dark with anger and he stared across the horizon and he balled his left hand into a fist. Before anyone could question, the Seeker's left hand had reformed into his lovely missiles and the other into a null ray with the added bonus of his mini-gun. Within seconds, he was fully ready to fire, turning and taking aim at the voice.

All of the Autobots flinched at his sudden show of danger. He didn't fire, however, only pointed threateningly at each one of them. Optimus watched with concern. For some reason, he could almost tell Starscream wasn't going to fire. Deep down, he knew something was very off beam with him.

The Seeker watched them carefully. How they didn't know that telling him to fly was like telling his Spark to cease to exist, which in some melancholic way comforted him. He stared a moment longer, daring any of them to approach him or attempt to disarm him. _'Oh, only if you brainless heaps of scrap really knew_…'

The very thought of flying started to bring back those feelings and he used it as a form of fury, something he could deal with. Starscream growled and screwed his optics shut with a hiss, fighting back at the urges. His optics sprang open when the feeling had dulled and he gave a firm look to Optimus, "Leave me be," he wasn't about to tell those jokers what was wrong with him.

What was the use of getting a new form now, anyways? He was found and was surely in for a world of hurt, his only option now was to follow the Autobots. Not something he particularly wanted to do, but it was something that needed to be done if he was going to save himself from the agony he was in. Starscream took another look around with a frown as he walked slowly in the direction he was told. He lowered his weapons in defeat and started to walk, his claws flexing as they reemerged.

As he trudged, it was painfully obvious that this new agony was an enemy he couldn't get rid of, being second nature to him, so it was no wonder that he was so agitated. Starscream flinched a few more times while he walked and Ironhide swore he was going to fall a time or two. A Seeker's powerful legs were made for marring, standing, walking, leaping but most of all, they were made to get him off the ground and away from gravity and danger.

…Now, they were his only source for mobility, and the Autobots that had found him now followed him, pointing him in the right direction until he walked into the base, which, frankly, wasn't far at all.

Optimus had told the other Autobots previously that they were to expect Starscream himself and to not fire on him. When he arrived, he got some of the nastiest glares. A lot of them were following him and whispering about his presence, but Optimus must have felt pity on him. The Seeker still expected things to get a whole lot worse now – he was a captive on their base.

He didn't speak to anyone, even when they tried to rile him up against Optimus' wishes, being angry he was even walking on their territory. To his surprise, they hadn't pinned him to anything, hadn't tortured him, and oddest of all, they allowed him to wander freely. The Autobots knew he really had no escape. He didn't once put up a fight, wanting nothing better than to just not deal with any of it.

Curiosity got the better of him as he wandered the base, looking around, but he felt every time he rounded a corner that optics were on him, scrutinizing him. They were probably laughing at him and he swore he heard one of the younger punks ask him if he forgot how to fly, in which case, it took all he could not to knock the brat into the next century. He knew he would suffer from such an attack, and he was suffering well enough without the intervention of the stupid Autobots.

The Seeker walked past the buildings, ignoring them. He found a dark place behind one of the buildings that was near a large mound of earth, not too dissimilar to a cliff, and he walked closer to it, kneeling. He then sat, leaning forward so his wings weren't touched. He was thankful any wind that blew went over the cliff and didn't touch him.

He was alone, no one bothered him, and here he remained.

"Starscream, I want to talk to you," Optimus approached him. Starscream glared up at the Autobot leader then looked away in a show of disinterest. He _really_ didn't want to be bothered by him. Pit, he didn't want to be bothered by _anyone_, yet here Optimus was, and he knew he was going to get some questions because Optimus was the type that if he knew something was wrong, he would dog him until he got answers.

Starscream looked back at him thoughtfully before his eyes went into a scowl, "Get lost." he demanded and started to stand. Just because he was here didn't mean he had to talk to anyone or even acknowledge their existence. He owed no one explanations, especially the Autobots. Optimus furrowed his optic ridges at the Seeker's rudeness, but didn't provoke him. Starscream was unpredictable, and he knew the Decepticon would devastate his base before someone finally managed to disarm him. He shook his head at him.

"There you are, Starscream, I need to do a systems check on you," Ratchet came around the corner seeing Optimus standing there and Starscream looking like he was ready to flee. He'd taken note of the anomaly in Starscream's core processor from initial readings but hadn't had time to deal with him until now. Starscream's glare turned onto him and he hesitantly went on with what he was saying, "…to make sure there are no viruses or such before you are allowed to continue to run amok over our base,"

Starscream's look softened slightly. It was the medic! How deep down he felt the relief come to him to see this Autobot. He didn't speak, only followed Ratchet, plodding heavily.

Optimus watched curiously. Obviously something was really bothering Starscream. He wouldn't walk off like that and he_ certainly_ wouldn't follow the feared medic without asking why or getting into a vocal death match with him. How very odd of him.

Ratchet waved him into the med bay and Starscream followed, finding a berth, he sat down, looking at Ratchet curiously, who was looking him up and down with a glare he could not figure out. The medic seemed to be in a bad mood. Starscream watched him as he went about getting instruments and tools he might need.

Starscream only watched him while he gathered his items. Could he be fixed? Could Ratchet repair his broken Flight Processor? The very hope in itself that he could be repaired was enough to make Starscream twitch as his processors threatened him once again.

This wasn't the time or place, but now he couldn't stop the flood as it pounded on his mind. This time not only did his Spark hurt, but his head. Starscream growled deeply as it threatened to surpass him.

**Automatic System Override – System Shutdown Imminent – Processor Unstable!**

Ratchet watched what happened with a frown and immediately he started scanning him for problems. What baffled him most was that he saw nothing wrong with an outside scan. His scans, however, showed the Decepticon was heating up. The medic became even more concerned when Starscream reached for his chest and then suddenly let out a screech that reverberated the walls, forcing the humans around the entire base to cover their ears as he dropped off the berth, splayed out on the floor, and his optics dimmed to darkness.

Ratchet scanned him again, found nothing wrong, except for the fact his processor had crashed. Well that was an immediate cause for concern. Normal or healthy mechs didn't just drop to the ground for any unknown cause. He scanned him deeper this time, using a tool in his hand and received information that he dreaded.

Starscream woke again finding himself on the floor. After his waking, he quickly realized that this was posing an issue with his circuits and felt rather sheepish. He made his way to the berth again, pulling his body up as if he had no strength left. Ratchet watched him curiously. "I did an internal scan on you while you had crashed,"

Starscream glanced at Ratchet, and then looked away without a word.

_/Ratchet, what was that awful noise?/_ Came a voice suddenly through open communication lines.

_/Ratchet, who did you kill this time?/_ Another voice came through.

_/Ratchet, don't do that again, you scared the hell out of all the humans on the base including me!/_ William called through a communicator that was given to them as a way to contact immediately.

_/All of you, __SILENCE__!/_ Ratchet replied over an open line when more and more people started asking about the noise, _/and the first one who makes another peep to me about it will get their weapons shoved in places they never knew existed. That means you humans too!/ _

He couldn't properly do assess Starscream with all of them babbling in the background. He needed to concentrate.

Needless to say, Ratchet got to work in silence and went back to addressing Starscream, who was giving him a dirty look, "It seems your Flight Control Systems are malfunctioning, your flight patterns are malfunctioning and your navigations are only at 20 percent,"

The Seeker glared at the medic for stating something so obvious. '_No really? Ya think? And what in your brain of brains thought my own system didn't already tell me that?' _

"And?" Starscream finally spoke out loud.

The CMO looked into his optics and sighed, "I don't think there is anything I can do."

Ratchet saw Starscream flinch. Even a medic couldn't help him?

You can't repair what isn't malfunctioning, and Starscream technically wasn't malfunctioning, yet he was. There was no pure explanation as to what was really wrong with him. He only knew of a Seeker comparison in words called 'Crash and Burn', as there was no other possible answer.

"I think I know why you crashed, however," Ratchet went on to explain, wary of the Seeker who seemed to become visually agitated at his words.

Starscream gave him a glare as if to say, 'Don't even mention it.' But Ratchet still spoke, reading Starscream's silent plea perfectly, "Your inability to fly is crashing your systems,"

Starscream snorted. Did these Autobots delight in provoking him like this? '_Come on, tell me something I don't know. It's not like I don't see that imminent shutdown in my very own HUD, you idiot.'_

"I have seen Seekers 'Crash and Burn', Starscream," The words were heavily used, and Ratchet felt horrible even having to say it.

The medic got Starscream's attention immediately. How did he know of such an expression that was shared only with other Seekers? He tilted his head slightly at him in both annoyance and curiosity. "Where did you hear that?"

Ratchet didn't answer. Instead, he told him, "I will be honest with you… It is not a pleasant experience as far as I have found, and I also found it usually leads to termination or insanity, as I have also witnessed myself on a few occasions," Ratchet's voice trailed as he turned from the look in Starscream's optics. It was probably the first time he had ever seen such a look from the Decepticon. It was fear. Fear of his own demise. He was not in the least bit happy with himself having to tell another living being that their sparkright was also their undoing.

'_Gee… how much more blunt can ya get, there, __you__ old fragger?_'' Starscream thought as he listened to the medic telling him things he already knew, yet hearing them seem to solidify that he wasn't getting the wrong readings from his own repair systems.

"So… what comes of my condition, Autobot?" Starscream asked, not even looking at the medic.

The medic seemed solemn in telling him, "There is no repairing this," the medic growled to himself, upset that he couldn't repair him, but if Starscream wanted to know, he would tell him "The fits will start to deteriorate your processor and other systems."

_What_? "What else?" Starscream asked, his optics snapping to the CMO. "What slagging good are you if you can't repair core processors?" his voice became accusatory, "You're supposedly the best there is."

"I'm not a miracle worker, Starscream. I am a medic. I may be the best at what I can do, but you are not malfunctioning in a way I can find."

"How can you not find a simple malfunction? You're useless…"

Ratchet only gave him a meaningful look and sighed at his tone. He'd expected the Decepticon to be angry and mouthy after hearing such information. He didn't want to spell the rest out for him. He knew there was no help for the grounded Seeker, and he shook his head. He knew what was happening to Starscream, and how he hated to admit to him that he could not fix him or tell him he would never fly again.

Ratchet came to terms that Starscream's situation was terminal.

Starscream became silent as he thought about what he was told. He dropped his head and wrinkled his nose plates in disgust at not only the medic for his inability to repair him, but at what Ratchet had told him.

The medic moved away and over to where he started sorting out various items that were strewn across his desk. Starscream felt anger and dread. His optics brightened and he glared at the back of the CMO as he got off of the berth. Ratchet listened as the Seeker stormed out of the med bay.

_/Ratchet to Prime,/_

_/Prime here, is everything all right? How did your assessment go?/_

_/No, everything is not all right Optimus, Starscream is grounded – forever. I want him under my care from here on out… It's best if he's left completely alone, I suggest you make this certain to everyone on the base by orders of my authority. If my memory serves me right, he will become unpredictable, easily angered and may crash… a lot./_

_/Why?/_ Optimus wasn't sure, but he knew there was a secret Seekers shared, yet he never knew totally of what it was.

_/Because he's severely malfunctioning,/_ Ratchet let a Cybertronian sigh fill the shared line before he continued, _/Yet there is absolutely nothing wrong with him, sir. There's nothing I can do./_

_/I don't understand?/_

Ratchet paused to look at the door where Starscream disappeared out of the bay in thought, _/Have you ever heard the term 'Crash and Burn', sir?/_

_Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies…_

_Tongue-tied and twisted just an Earth-bound misfit, I…_

* * *

_I can't help but feel bad for Starscream. I can't imagine being in his predicament._


	4. The Irresistable Grasp

A/N: _The next installment. Do enjoy._

* * *

He never asked about any other Decepticons. He didn't want them to see him deteriorate like this. They would most likely care less, or make his condition worse.

Starscream sat back in that cliff he had found. He had been there for days, crashing quite frequently. It was pure anguish for that feeling to rush to him, make him cry out and then offline – and was becoming exhausting. He _knew_ why he was crashing. If there were some way around that, then he would be free. He was in a prison he wouldn't wish on his own worst enemy, as it was far more horrible than anything he could ever do to someone else, evil or not. He imagined this was the kind of torture Soundwave did to others when interrogating them.

His optics flittered then, as if he'd had a human stroke, he couldn't hardly speak for a few seconds, slurring his words like he was the most Drunken Cybertronian any of the 'Bots had ever seen.

All of the Autobots and humans now knew about Starscream's predicament, much to his bemusement. They didn't know the term, but they were told that he was malfunctioning. They could hear the Seeker's strange cries he made before his body hit the ground.

None of them made fun of him. None of them stared, none of them tried to harm him or even cracked jokes at him now. In fact, they didn't bother him at all, and even felt bad for him, even though he was the bad guy. They weren't exactly sure what he was going through, but they couldn't imagine going through it themselves.

Oh, how Starscream hated being seen like this. He was deteriorating right in front of them. They could watch as his pride went downhill. Sometimes a human would come and stand with him, watching him. They didn't look as if they were studying him or being perverse in any way. They almost looked like they _cared_. He didn't know why, nor did he ask. It made little sense to him.

They could watch as his processors became strained and unstable.

They watched as he began not recharging. Once in a great while a fleshling would come to him in the middle of the night and sometimes just sit and watch him. He didn't speak with them, annoyed at their presence. They acted as though they were not afraid of him. It was sad he could not even intimidate these things.

He took notice of the female especially, which would sometimes try to talk, but he still refused. Every time she'd nod as if she understood, and sit with him, saying nothing. And then every time, she'd walk away with a deep frown. He'd watch her leave, feeling something he couldn't define when she left his field of vision. It still confused him as to why they mourned for him.

They watched when he couldn't walk. It was the most embarrassing thing. His legs would buckle without warning, sometimes one, sometimes both and he'd catch himself and struggle back to his feet.

He could NOT do this any longer! He could not stand being degraded to this. He was once a proud and powerful Seeker. He'd had so many plans in his lifetime that he'd yet to of fulfilled, but unfortunately, it would never happen.

He couldn't stand the fact that his processor was glitching.

He couldn't stand that agony that started to tear him apart in his mind and Spark. He started looking for an alternative to this hell he was in. There was just no comparison to anything he'd ever been through. There had to be some way out.

_A fatal attraction holding me fast…_

_How can I escape this irresistible grasp?..._

What if he didn't try to rip his own Spark open, but let someone else do it for him? That would work, he wouldn't have to worry about his repair systems kicking him into a crash, which was taking longer and longer for him to boot back up.

* * *

He had been watching the twins walk by occasionally when he thought of that. Those two hated him, and he could feel it when they looked at him. They wouldn't think twice about ripping into him. He knew they were easily provoked too because their tempers were easily set off.

The next time one of them walked by, he held out his arm, his null ray coming to view and he fired right at Sideswipe's feet. The red Autobot leapt in surprise, then turn and aim his own weapon on the Seeker, "What the frag is wrong with you?"

"Destroy me," Starscream hissed, pointing the ray at a human. He didn't even look away from Sideswipe.

"I would love to, Deceptiscum, but I don't want to spend the rest of my existence in the brig, thank you,"

Starscream stood. He was about 10 foot taller than Sideswipe; he aimed his weapon at him, but then aimed at his feet, firing his weapon again. Sideswipe leapt from the shot, "You find it so easily to destroy Decepticons before, Auto_twerp_, what is another? I am defenseless against your attack. You could easily take advantage of that."

The scuffle had gotten the attention of others on the base, "I don't want to bother with you, Screamer,"

Starscream snarled, stepping forward. "Stop _calling me that_!" his voice was a low hiss and unnervingly calm as his body changed its position as he poised to strike at the 'Bot, crouched like a cougar about to strike its prey. The fury in the Seeker's optics was nothing like Sideswipe had ever seen, and for the first time, he was _frightened_ of him.

Starscream had considered if he wouldn't do it willingly, then he would tear into the twin until he did. It made no difference to him, he already come to terms that one of these days he was going to crash and never wake again. He longed for that day to come, praying every night to Primus to just let him die.

Sideswipe was confused at the Seeker's actions at first, then realized what was going on. He'd noticed Starscream had been unusually quiet for a few days, not talking to anyone. Suddenly, he was watching in suspended curiosity as the Seeker prepared to attack him. He knew that the entire base would shoot him dead. It didn't hit the younger bot until Ratchet was suddenly in his side view, _/Don't say a word, I will get him./_

Ratchet approached the seeker while he verbally insulted the red twin, his mini-gum spun, firing at his feet, getting the attention of Sunstreaker who aimed his own weapon, preparing to fire on him.

Sideswipe called over the comm. that Starscream was going to attack just as Starscream leapt at him, and he moved to dodge. He was cut off by Ratchet, who made a running leap at the seeker, his finger transforming into a needle and he used his weight pouncing on the seeker. In doing so, the larger mech's frame went down easily, buckling and falling to the ground. Quickly, Ratchet administered some nano bots that knocked the seeker into stasis before he could even think about what happened.

"He's gone haywire, Ratchet!" Sideswipe said as he started to get up since he had tumbled in his efforts to dodge the menace that was about to rip him to shreds, or at least try.

Both twins stood over Ratchet and the recharging seeker, being accompanied by about 10 others including Optimus and Ironhide, who had his arms folded heavily over his chest with a risen optic ridge. They all knew a bot had gone down, but were surprised to find Ratchet on the Seeker, "What you get yourself into now, you two?" Ironhide pointed the question at the twins.

"Nothing, 'Hide, he just started shooting at my feet for no reason."

"I figured this would happen eventually," Ratchet moved to get off of the Seeker, "He's not a stupid mech by any means, he is seeking a way out… a way to destroy himself without crashing in the process,"

"I will surely help him rid his misery," Sunstreaker glared at the downed Seeker with a deadly stare.

"You will do no such thing," Ratchet growled, "He is _my_ patient, and I will not allow any of you to take his life,"

"But he's in misery, can't you see that?" Of course, he could see it. It stared at him right in the face every time he looked at the seeker. "Don't you find it odd that he would ask me to destroy him?"

"It's not my call to take a life like that, I can't just order him to die," The CMO brushed himself off and started away from the body that laid recharging.

"You gonna just leave him like that until he dies in misery?"

"Leave him alone," Ratchet disappeared behind the building. He was feeling so guilty about Starscream. He wasn't sure why he was feeling guilt over a Decepticon. He sat in his office staring at the wall in his own pity about what was happening. He hoped in all his existence he didn't have to see this again. He hoped somewhere deep down someone did disobey Optimus' or his orders and bring the suffering Seeker down. When was being kind being cruel? He couldn't bring himself to order Starscream to be killed, even if it might be a reprieve from his suffering.

Ratchet had ordered that Starscream be looked at every day from now on. He read his data pad that had all of the readings of Starscream's state of mind from when he'd tackled the Seeker. He frowned deeply.

The Decepticon was dying and there wasn't a slagging thing he could do about it – at least in any kind way. He could wait until the Seeker crashed again and poison him enough that he would never wake. The medic turned in his seat slightly, looking at the door in thought.

* * *

Starscream moved to sit, feeling groggy, as if he had just had a hangover of sorts and his optics were blurry for a moment before they finally cleared and showed him lying on his front on the ground.

The last he remembered, he was egging Sideswipe to attack him. How come he hadn't fired back? Why hadn't he done what he was Sparked to do, destroy Decepticons? Starscream was not only one of the most admired Decepticons, but he was also the most hated. Especially by the twins who constantly tried to bring him down countless times before.

He moved to sit, but there was a click in his mind and he twitched, stopping. His optics blurred out and then back in, focusing on his surroundings, finding it night time, his repair system blinded him with its reports.

**Processor damage – 42 Percent Functional – Stable.**

**Navigations Systems – Offline.**

Maybe he didn't have to suffer like this much longer. He knew something was wrong now. His navigations were no longer functioning. Maybe this coming crash would finally take him and never wake him up again.

He knew things were getting bad when he lost his second set of senses, which made him dizzy, forcing him to compensate for the changes. He felt the overwhelming urge in him again, and how it pained him. He lightly ran his claw down his torso, trying to ease the pain but it wouldn't subside.

He let out a screechy whine as it started to get more and more powerful. His head felt like it was going to explode with his Spark. That need he could not fulfill. The last report he received blinked in over his evident damage and they blinked with dread he started to feel before his self preservation started to blink to him.

**WARNING:** **Automatic System Override – System Shutdown Imminent – Processor Unstable!**

The repairs started again, staying on his processor to assess the damage from the last crash, finding nothing malfunctioning, it woke him up.

Starscream put his head down from the unbelievable pain that was welling within his processors. He barely watched his HUD bring back reports and this time he blinked at what he was seeing. Well that was something new.

**WARNING: Processor damage – 58 Percent Functional – Stability Check Failed – Recheck?**

He went for the recheck with just a mere thought.

**WARNING: Processor damage – 58 Percent Functional – Stable.**

This time the 'Stable' flickered to 'Unstable' for a second or two then back and repeated this strange behavior, showing him that he was, in fact, going insane. "Inssssanity is a Sssseeker's worssssst enemy, you know…" he told himself. "Youuuuu are your own worssssst enemy… Welcome to pit."

Starscream collected his thoughts and tried his hardest to understand what was going on. He could only find one answer to this madness that blinked at him constantly now. He needed out of this place and needed to get the humans' attention. He needed to find where mercy was not at hand, no matter what he had to do to get out of this horror. If he had to kill people, that was fine. Dignity and self-justification barely mattered to him anymore.

* * *

"There has got to be something we can do for him, Optimus. He might be the 'bad guy' and all but I don't think even the 'bad guy' should suffer like that." Mikaela was sitting in the rec room with a few other Autobots and Will and Sam. They were all concerned for the Seeker who hid from them. They didn't think he needed to die alone and it was why he was often visited by the humans or even welcome to stay at the base.

Some of them were happy he hid, so they didn't have to feel or see the grief of what the seeker went through if they happened to catch him in one of his fits. They could hear him however, and that was painful enough.

"There is nothing, I'm sorry," Optimus spoke, knowing the subject was a little touchy.

"But why?" Sam asked, almost accusingly, "At least humans can lobotomize or do something to help with suffering like _that_,"

"Do _what_?" Came a medic's snarling question. He'd been heading out of the building when he heard Sam and stopped.

"You know, look it up, he won't have a problem, will he?" Sam shrugged.

Ratchet did just that. What he saw was horrific. How could humans actually do something like that to their own kind and be proud of it?

"Sam," Optimus sighed. The idea of lobotomizing a Cybertronian would destroy their Sparks with torture, worse than what Starscream was already going through. "We don't do that kind of… operation, sorry," his made it clear only in his voice to not bring that up again.

Sam looked at Optimus a few seconds and then he nodded. He looked back to Mikaela, who happened to have an opened door behind her and suddenly he almost fell backwards as he saw a streak of something grey run by, "Shit! There he goes, _there he goes_!" he yelled and went to move quickly. Something big and black ran by after the bird-like leg.

* * *

Starscream moved as fast as he could, finding his body overly sluggish, but he forced himself to correct it, being a little off balance. His processor was working overtime to keep him on his feet and his head was beginning to feel like someone was stabbing him between his eyes, but he did not stop. His legs, sometimes giving up on him, were now forced by his processor to carry him and he wobbled no more. Ironhide came up on his tail, being followed by another bigger bot – He figured it was Optimus Prime.

Looking around, he noticed a way to completely escape the boundaries that he'd been stuck. He saw freedom past that fence that protected the Autobots from nosy onlookers. His optics flashed bright and he made his move. Energon pumped through his lines and he ran as fast as he could towards it, he hoped his legs would help him clear it.

"Starscream is on the move!" Ironhide called a few steps behind him, also followed by Bumblebee.

Surprisingly, it took very little effort to give his legs the power needed to clear the fence. When he landed on the other side, his legs recoiled wrong and they nearly buckled, making have to catch himself before he fell. When they stabled out, he took off running as he headed for civilization. He looked behind him to see the Autobots coming fast. Again, he was off. The urge to fly swiftly came upon him and this time, he ignored it.

Ironhide hadn't worried about jumping the fence, he just lowered his shoulder and barreled through it instead, followed by Bee and now by about all the Autobots.

Starscream knew they were after him, which was all the better. He continued his run until he found himself far enough away to turn and fire directly at Ironhide, clipping his shoulder, but not dropping him. He turned to run again when they got closer, he turned, fired what seemed to be a machine gun on them until they fell and then ran again. He knew such firepower wouldn't bring them down, but maybe it would annoy them enough they'd just shoot him.

"Optimus take him down!" Ironhide roared and aimed with his arm that was turning into weapon on the fleeing Seeker that was fumbling as he ran, he was also shooting at civilian buildings and such.

"We can't!" Optimus called back, "Stand down, Ironhide!"

"Yes we can! He's gone, sir, there's no helping him now! He wants to die!" Ironhide ignored the command, deep down in his Spark he felt he was doing Starscream justice, something he was not sure he deserved, yet felt proud about it at the same time. The black Autobot lifted his arm as he ran and fired, the recoil in his arm forcing his arm back from the blow and he was pleased to find it hit the Seeker dead on the back but the Seeker did not falter nor fire back. Strangely enough, he kept running and shooting up civilian property.

Starscream ran faster, firing at anything and anyone that got too near to him. He tried not to hit the humans as he ran and shot mostly at dirt, and was even more satisfied when he saw three F-22 Raptors fly over his head.

The humans must have gotten wind of a rogue Cybertronian shooting up the place and called it in and the jets were scrambled to take him down. Seeing them up there in the sky, that feeling bore into his mind and Spark, stopping to watch them fly over once, the Seeker was hopeful they'd fire on him. They turned abruptly and came back, giving no warning before they started to fire on him using both missiles and bullets and they didn't stop. As soon as they had hit him, they circled again to attack him again.

Starscream felt each sting of the Bullets and each missile that crashed into his body and exploded. Now he'd wished he'd had no armor to protect himself from their onslaught. He didn't move, watching them come back for another round. He got his wish.

The F-22s continued to sweep over. The Autobots stopped at a distance they were sure the F-22 wouldn't hit them.

Optimus watched, and it pained him to see this, but it pained him more to see the Seeker suffer like he was. He noticed how Starscream did not fight back; even going so much as to kneel so they had a still target. The ravenous urge to fly crept into Starscream stronger than he ever felt before, making the firing of the sabot rounds feel like nothing to him. He paid little attention to the blinking in his HUD now.

**WARNING: Outer Armor – Damaged – Unstable.**

**WARNING: Weapons – Damaged – Unstable.**

**WARNING: Ocular senses – Critical – Failing.**

**WARNING: Communications System – Failed to Initiate – Offline.**

**WARNING: Energon – Critical Levels – Stasis Lock Imminent. **

He knew right then, even though he could no longer see, that they had struck him lethally and he smiled as his HUD continued to show the damage he was taking on**. **

It was sorrowful to see the ill smile on the Seeker as he was pelted time and time again. Starscream's body jerked and bled as the weapons did their damage and he went forward, catching himself on his hands. He dropped his head.

**WARNING: Energon Pump – Failing – Damage Critical.**

**WARNING: Spark Chamber – Damage Critical.**

**WARNING: Spark Unstable –Damage Critical – Termination Imminent!**

And that was the last thing that Starscream could remember seeing before he was sucked into nothingness. He still felt alive, yet he felt it for the first time since he had crashed. It was freedom.

As his new vision cleared, he found himself over the clouds of the planet. He felt the wind over himself, and felt the freedom he longed for. The urge he could engage. The urge he needed to fulfill. The urge that was his Sparkright.

_There's no sensation to compare with this…_

_Suspended animation, a state of bliss…_

_A dream unthreatened by the morning light…_

_Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night..._

* * *

_:(_


	5. A Flight of Fancy

**A/N**: _Last chapter. I certainly hope you enjoyed the story._

* * *

In all his existence, he had never seen something like what scarred him that night the last Decepticon Seeker fell. Now, it had been 5 years after the last true Decepticon had walked on Earth. Things hadn't been the same since then.

When thinking about it in retrospect, they actually felt that Starscream was killed for a better purpose, and the incident didn't go over quickly. It buried itself into the processors of those on the base and dug its way into the human minds, pricking at them all. It hadn't just scarred Optimus or Ratchet, but everyone who saw Starscream's death.

It was sad to see someone so proud and full of arrogance to become what he had in such a short amount of time. The humans had tried to console him during his trials, but he'd refused. They figured it was his pride that stood in the way. Either way, Mikaela, who'd visited him on several occasions found herself crying over the mech. Some of the Autobots couldn't understand her tears over such a wretched Decepticon, but they didn't prod her about it.

There were hopefully no more threats to be worried about, and the Autobots incorporated themselves easily with society over the years. The Autobots no longer had to hide, and were accepted easily by everyone. Of course, there were those that wanted to do them harm. There always would be, but when they were found out, they… disappeared, but like those plasma cannons, no one actually knew about it.

It had also been many years since the Allspark had been destroyed, and often at recharging times, Optimus would lay awake staring at the sliver he still had from it. He knew it didn't seem powerful enough to do anything, but couldn't deny the feeling in his Spark and what the Matrix was whispering to him.

It was rare for any Prime to even think about it and even rarer for them to do it, but he could no longer wonder… he could no longer give no hope. He, in fact, with the sliver might be their only hope of their dwindling species. He could no longer deal with what had happened to the deranged Decepticon, so he formulated a plan. Only this plan wasn't directed at one, but for all Cybertronians.

It was a last effort to put what had happened to Starscream to rest.

* * *

He was acting drastically different around everyone, suddenly. Ratchet couldn't come up with anything wrong with him when he ran his scans over his leader, but there was a part of Optimus that was firewalled and no matter how much the medic would try to break it, there was no breaching it.

So, Optimus had something to hide, did he?

Ratchet stopped attacking Optimus' firewalls, especially when he would get a stern look from him as if he knew every time he was trying. It was very unlike Optimus to hide things from his fellow Autobots and even more rare for him to give Ratchet a dirty look for prying. Of course, Ratchet's curiosity and worry had risen with Optimus' drastic changes.

Ratchet had taken note that Optimus was recharging more often, seemed 'out of it' as the humans called it at times. The CMO started to really worry that something was terribly wrong with his friend and leader. It wasn't in him to spy on other Autobots, especially Optimus, so when he decided he would try, he had comes to terms that he was either going to get caught, or he would find out what was wrong with his leader.

_/Optimus, can you come to the Med bay?/_ Ratchet called.

No response.

Immediately worry crept into Ratchet's Spark. _/Optimus…? Are you receiving?/_

No response. Now he felt dread and dropped what he had in his hands, headed for his leader's Room. Others had heard him running, and of course, when Ratchet runs, there's a damned good reason for it. They followed, being both nosy and worried about Ratchet's hurry.

Ratchet got to his room, where he found it closed and locked, looking down at the keypad, he typed in what his access code. His codes were master codes for reasons like this.

ACCESS DENIED.

'_What?'_ He punched the code again: ACCESS DENIED.

He only thought of one thing. Ironhide, _/Ironhide I need you at Prime's quarters __NOW__!/_

The others heard the open comm. call and they also heard the sliding of mechs coming to a sudden stop and heavy footsteps of a running Ironhide. The weapon specialist slid past everyone, stopping at the door, "What is it?"

Ratchet glanced at Ironhide then to the door, "Hurry, I need you to open this door!"

**

* * *

Systems**** Startup Sequence Initiated – Complete.**

**Core Processor Startup ****Sequence Initiated****- Complete.**

Darkness disappeared as it onlined its optics for the very first time. Its surroundings seemed a little chillier than desired, so it remained in its pod for now, taking in all of the information its new sensors could pick up.

The small being was still unsure of its surroundings.

It peered around with other sensors that came online as it woke for the very first time, and everything was gargantuan compared to it. Its first instinct was to search out its caretaker, who it found a few short seconds later under itself and it twittered, muttering garble. Its little body shuddered as it found its legs and arms inside the pod.

Wanting to explore the strange new world, it started to move its actual form for the first time under its protective pod shape. It the tiny clicks and clicks were more like small feet running across a floor rather than loud or even really noticeable. Its processors and programming came to full as it unfolded into its proto-form, being no bigger than Frenzy. It felt the air hit the rest of its body and shuddered with a feeling as the air moved up its shoulders and through its turbines. The small turbines on its back were weak yet and not fully functional, but the more the air moved through them, the stronger they became.

It's little optics were a deep red and were full of interest and life. Its HUD began telling it what it was seeing and began taking scans of everything, identifying what it could. It looked down at its caretaker and poked at the chest plate near Optimus' Spark, muttering something. When it found its caretaker was in recharge, it did the only thing it could think of.

* * *

Outside of Optimus' quarters, everyone stilled as they heard a sudden burst of something that resembled a really high pitched alarm. Trying to figure out what it was, they knew it couldn't possibly be good beings it was in Optimus' room and there was nothing that they knew of that could make such a sound. It sounded a lot like the shriek of some wild animal that had been trapped.

Those on the outside moved faster, to try to get in. Ironhide, not sure why Ratchet needed him since he had master codes, looked at Ratchet curiously. "Use your access code, you old fragger!" the specialist told him.

"I can't, it-it won't work!" Ratchet fumbled with the code again, showing the ACCESS DENIED when he used his number. It could only be overridden by the Prime himself, who was in the room.

Ironhide grimaced at the sight of the keypads denial. He backed away, pushing everyone else back as he lifted his right arm, the cannon emerging and he took aim and fired at the door with a low powered pulse. Just after, there was a lot of smoke and one very big hole in the door he'd shot. Ironhide lowering his cannon, he followed as soon as he saw Ratchet squeeze himself in.

Running into the room, he nearly toppled over Ratchet when the CMO stopped suddenly. He noticed that Ratchet was staring at Optimus' body with the most shocked look he'd ever seen on him. He was naturally drawn to where Ratchet was looking and his jaw dropped. There was something more than just Optimus there, because it _moved_. "Ratch…"

As the smoke cleared and fires were snuffed out, everyone else started peeking in the door to get a glimpse of what Ratchet and Ironhide were watching. Ratchet's optics were distracted from Optimus to look at the others before he moved in front of the scene before them, blocking their view of whatever was on Optimus. No one else needed to be in or around here, which he deemed too delicate a situation. This was something Ratchet specialized in taking care of.

"All of you leave, _NOW_!" he pointed and everyone scattered like rats let loose in a maze except Ironhide, who was now bent over, looking at Optimus' chest plate curiously. He had a finger out ready to poke whatever it was sitting on Optimus. As he listened for the last footsteps, Ratchet turned back around. He stopped as the thing on Optimus' chest moved again. It seemed hunch down to become smaller, making it hard to see with the already low light. Its little optics were staring up at Ironhide in both curiosity and fear, feeling vulnerable since its caretaker was still asleep.

Ratchet scanned his leader and took note that his power levels were low, his Spark was stable but a little weak, and especially took note of the small critter hadn't been there before. Other than that, Optimus was just in a deep recharge. Ratchet left him rest while he checked out the small body moving on him.

Ironhide hadn't so much as blinked as Ratchet then leaned down to get a better look at what exactly had just moved. At first, he considered it to be some animal that made its way into Optimus' quarters, but as he scanned the leader, his findings caught him off guard. The creature on Optimus was not any animal from Earth. It was a metal body. "Primus…"

The thing moved again, crouching and it caught his attention and he scanned, focusing everything on a pair of red optics looking up at him. The small being let out a few trills of sound and a few garbled Cybertronian words he did not understand.

Ratchet's optics widened instantly as he remembered that the sounds this creature were making were sounds only a sparkling could make. He went to search the small, moving little bugger and found a few alarming things.

For one, it was a rare breed of Cybertronian. For two, it resembled someone he once knew in many ways, there was no Cybertronian that resembled another unless it was a twin. And its optics were red instead of the assumed blue.

"What is it?" Ironhide saw it's optics as it looked at him curiously in the same fashion it had just fixed with Ratchet, but he just didn't believe what he was seeing or hearing. It was impossible!

"It's … a sparkling," Ratchet said with curiosity, himself, "A Seeker," Ratchet's words caught in his vocal processor, "And it has a designation already," the last words were spoken as more of a question than an actual statement, which also caught Ironhide's attention.

"A Sparkling? But…" It had a designation already? This threw the weapon specialist off. He'd never heard of a sparkling sparked with a designation. "_What_? I mean, how?" Ironhide couldn't ask fast enough, double-checking his words.

Ratchet scanned the small Seeker repeatedly with all he had available, double-checking himself after he saw how the sparkling was created. He realized, by his astonishment, why Optimus had been acting so strange. Optimus had actually created this little guy himself. He wasn't sure he wanted to know how exactly since it was a rather complicated thing, but he could take a guess.

He heard a grunt from Ironhide, who was impatiently waiting for an answer, "How?" he turned slightly, "That's a good question, let's get it to my med bay for now. I have other instruments in there that will help me get all information and health on this little guy." He looked warily out the blown open door, "…Hopefully unseen,"

The sparkling watched in curiosity as to what the two giants were doing. The big lime colored one grabbed it gently and it squirmed in his grip. It didn't want this giant to take it from its caretaker! It wanted to be with him! It tried to claw, but being so tiny and fragile, it didn't succeed any and quickly gave up.

It felt a abrupt feeling of going up as it's air pressure and velocity told it about changes as to location and squirmed again in fear. It moved a little; its senses telling it that it was now against metal, warm metal, and another spark, one which wasn't its caretaker. Hmm. It stopped its squirming to look up at the mech that had it. It wanted to know who it was. His spark was kind and gentle, not unlike its caretaker's spark.

Ratchet put his hands over the sparkling, tucking him down in his arm as he hid him. There was no need for ANYONE to see this little one. He'd have less answers than questions, himself and didn't need the trouble. Ironhide went in front of him and checked for onlookers or anyone who was being nosy and found none. The weapon specialist glanced back to Ratchet then stepped out. He waved Ratchet on, watching as the CMO huddled down to hide the sparkling better and they darted out of Optimus' quarters, hell bent for the Med Bay.

When Ratchet arrived in his med bay, he sent First Aid to see to Optimus immediately, still concealing the sparkling so the other medic couldn't see it. He knew Optimus wasn't in any real danger, but it served a purpose to get him out of the bay. When it was clear, he brought the little one out from hiding.

It was clinging to him with tiny claws as if it didn't want to move. Ratchet didn't doubt it was because it was scared from the sudden differences and being around different sparks. Ratchet held it out as soon as he pried it off and set it on the berth so he could get a better look at what was going on.

The small sparkling sat on its haunches and looked up at the two, wondering what was going on. It still wanted to be with its caretaker, but this big green one was comforting enough for the time being. It glanced to the big black one and chirped.

"You said it has a designation already… what is it?" Ironhide asked as he watched the sparkling with a curiosity and awe he could not comprehend.

There was no response as the medic scanned everything possible on him. Without looking away, Ratchet answered, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you,"

**Navigations Systems – Online – Ready for Flight – Standing By.**

Just then, the little seeker stood, wobbling a bit on its new legs. It looked up toward the ceiling and around the room as if judging distance and area. Ratchet backed up slightly, wondering what it was doing until it leapt and transformed into its flight mode and it suddenly jumped into the air with a strong leap. It felt its flight systems online for the first time.

After two or three insecure jumps, the sparkling glanced at Ratchet, believing he would catch it, and leapt off of the berth, flying for the first time.

**Flight Control System – 100 Percent Functional – Ready for Flight – Standing By.**

**Diverted Spark power to thrusters – 100 Percent Complete – Ready for Flight – Standing By.**

**Flight Control Pattern – Online – Ready for Flight – Standing By.**

**Flight Core Processor – Ready for Flight – Standing By.**

**Flight Sequence Initiated.**

"Try me," Ironhide told Ratchet. He wasn't sure why he said it, because deep down, he felt it, but for some reason, he wanted to hear it. He watched as the sparkling started for the ground, but his little body hovered for a few seconds before he started buzzing all over the med bay.

_A fatal attraction holding me fast…_

The wind over its sensitive wings brought more of its sensors online. The feeling the sparkling felt was as close as it could to compare the feelings it felt for his creator. It was the best feeling it would ever experience, and it knew then that it would never get tired of it. It felt the freedom of flight.

_There's no sensation to compare with this…_

Ratchet and Ironhide both watched it circle silently, playing in the air as it did, transforming in midair, slowing to a stop, going backwards, and just generally enjoying the open air. As Ratchet watched him, he couldn't help but feel a small pang in the back of his processor about how much this youngster even reminded him of that someone even in movements, "_His_ designation is (garbled Cybertronian)."

They already knew the trouble this little guy was going to be as soon as Ratchet smirked, and to see him raised in a world without war would be priceless, "Did Optimus know what he was doing?" Ironhide asked with a little smirk.

"No, Ironhide," Ratchet told him while he watched the sparkling, "I think Primus cares more about the Seekers than he thought he did," Ratchet smiled as they went back to watching the sparkling frolic through the air.

_Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies…_

A gathering had begun outside of the med bay. They all stared, stunned at what they were seeing. Some of them were curious as to what it was, but then someone who'd seen one before walked up behind them, "Yes," he answered, knowing that they wanted to know, "it is." Prowl smiled as he peered in on the three.

"Let's get away before-" Sunstreaker was cut off suddenly by what he feared would happen.

Ratchet turned and saw all the faces that were now looking into the med bay. It was more comical watching them all try to fit at least one optic through the window to see. His optic ridges furrowed immediately at them and he glared. The same intimidating gaze was also coming from Ironhide as soon as he had seen what Ratchet was glaring at.

"Uh oh, too late," Sideswipe muttered.

* * *

_Such a sweet ending for such a sorrowful story. Thank you for reading and I certainly hope you enjoyed!_


End file.
